Worried you won't fit in here? That's fine, we've got everything you need to help from feeling left out. Don't worry, we'll keep it a secret between us.
Ever feel like you just can't get enough? We've got the answers and we're willing to share it with you. Just let us know if you're down for a #goodtime
Don't worry, we have the solution for you. Don't spend your precious funds on useless pills and painful pumps. We have the secret to pleasing your partner. Don't wait until it's too late.
Don't turn your back on me, my friend. I promise I will make sure you are properly compensated for all your kind efforts and time. Report back soon and we will discuss all that is needed. I promise it will all end in positive terms for you and you're saving a life in the process.
[ Sometimes a man just has very important things he has to deciding on in life and right now, Joseph Joestar was facing one of the most important decisions he's had to make as of yet. Or, rather, he's calculating his options in his head.
On the one hand, he could go to his bedroom and crash there. The problem with that is that his door happened to be further down the hall than Caesar's was. Which meant an extra like... foot or two. With how tired he was, this was An Ordeal. So, resolving himself, he musters up the strength to get up. As an unknown peace offering to Caesar, he drops his phone on the table and leaves it there so there won't be any harassment.
Without any word or question if it's okay, he busts into Caesar's room and immediately and dramatically flops on the bed and halfway across Caesar's lap. He doesn't even wait for a question of why he's there or any protests and just burrows up nice and close.
Clearly harassing Caesar and not wanting to walk all the way to his room were his only intentions in this. Clearly... ]
[The telltale signs his friend is mobile is apparent in the little noises outside his door. The man is a bull in a china shop no matter where he goes and it's not a shock that his patience wore thin. Caesar expected it. He was alone out there. He thought the man would go to his own room for the rest of the evening. Would maybe pick up his keys and leave for another nightly jaunt to ward off all his restless energy.
So imagine his surprise when he busts into his room and splays across his body like he has no sense of coherency. That inquisitive JoJo? rapidly shifting into an irritated, angry JoJo! as the seconds progress and the man doesn't realize his mistake. Doesn't move. Doesn't do anything but turn him into a body pillow and-
Caesar presses his hand against the side of his face and pushes hard.]
[ So... yeah, she's still feeling pretty bad about what she did. Even if it hadn't been entirely her fault, even if it hadn't ended with Caesar, you know, dead... she still isn't exactly happy with herself.
[ Things seem... suspiciously quiet and clean. A higher standard of clean than normal. Not just picked up and vaguely tidied, but everything is in its place. Scrubbed. Spotless. Even the harshest critic would be pressed to find something to complain over in this household.
Clearly. Clearly something is wrong.
If Caesar looks around, he'll find one Joseph Joestar napping in his own room on a perfectly made bed other than the body that's resting there. ]
[Bizarre-that's his first thought when he opens the door. The living room is devoid of the typical hulking behemoth that usually haunts these hallowed grounds-one usually with a bone to pick and crumbs scattered around his body like a summoning circle.
The apartment is clean. Not "clean" with all the verbal quotations Caesar manages to voice when he's harassing JoJo to get better at these domestic chores.
It is legitimately spotless. Sparkling. It looks brand new.
He waits for the metaphorical ball to drop as he explores the unit for signs of mischief hidden under this facade. There are stories about wishes going wrong, monkey's paws and he suddenly, vividly, remembers every single one he heard as a child.
And then he spots him and all the tension in his shoulders relaxes-JoJo's not hiding in a closet somewhere or pulling some kind of invisible ploy. He's in front of him, sound asleep, relaxed on the edge of his bed-as if he's been banished to his own room. Caesar doesn't recall doing that in recent days.]
I didn't think you had it in you.
[He has, for the first time in his life, zero complaints about the state of affairs in his living space. It's a miracle and he bestows on JoJo the gift of not punching him awake. Instead-
His fingers grip the edge of the comforter, pulling it upwards to cover at least half the body of his companion. Whatever spurred this? He doesn't know. Maybe the man finally had a change of heart.]
[ For the first time, Joseph was the one up before Caesar. It could be that Joseph never really slept and, instead, was getting things ready for when he woke Caesar up at the ass crack of dawn. Of course there's surprise and bitching that happens between them. But it's okay, this is fine. Joseph will take the griping.
Eventually, he gets Caesar to agree to come with him with the promise of training in a new location. Part of this is true, but he isn't planning to actually train today. Unless that's Caesar's deepest and utmost desire.
Either way, when they're getting closer to where Joseph plans to take him, he puts his hands over Caesar's face to cover his eyes. A soft voice whispers in Caesar's ears. ]
Indulge me for five more minutes. I promise it'll be worth it.
The man's whims and flights of fancy are as erratic as they are mind-boggling. Moments of sincerity are wrapped around exhausting ventures that remind Caesar why he's friends with JoJo to begin with-that there's a great benefit and meaning behind his ploys, but-
It doesn't make it less taxing. Any less of a risk to his, so far, peaceful day.]
And if it's not? That's five minutes you'll owe me, you know. Are you willing to take that risk?
[His tone is far from annoyed-they've already gone through their morning routine, their typical spat, that lasted less than normal. What can he say-he's in a good mood.
His palm rests against the splayed fingers over his eyes-not pulling them or moving them away. He's morbidly curious about what's about to happen and-
If it's a pie in the face or some other shenanigan, he can grab his hand before he runs off to give him the pounding he deserves.]
[ Joseph had been quite busy with the streaming and getting into cosplay that he hasn't been bothering to get out of the apartment lately. It's fine, though. He's pretty content. He has his fun and he has Caesar to help keep him entertained in his off hours. Most of the time he removes whatever cosplay he has once he's done with his stream events, but tonight is a different story. Tonight, it's Waluigi's sexy time.
After he's finished up and shut things down, he comes out to find Caesar in the kitchen and slowly walks up behind him. One arm slips around him as he kisses his ear. Whatever it is that's being made, it smells good. ]
[It's become natural for them to end up like this. He doesn't bother to turn around or acknowledge the fool in any way outside of a single grunt over his pot of bubbling minestrone.
He hasn't seen him all day-something about dressing up like some kind of Halloween costume for a bizarre skit and that'll make him money? He can't fathom the finer details. It's all nonsense at the end of the day.
It's the poke against his cheek that makes him turn to look at his companion. The pointed mustache being far from the most offense thing he's wearing right now.]
You're not sitting at the table looking like that.
un: jojostar
if you need to talk, i'm on the couch.
un zeppeli
Don't pander me like I'm a fool.
I'm sure your hand is in this somehow.
[Even if it's odd the man isn't gloating about his successful venture on The Internet.]
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display name: h0t l0c4ls l00king 4 l0v3
Send us a message today and we'll make sure you're kept warm tonight. We'll be waiting... ♥ Wink.
display name: h0t l0c4ls l00king 4 l0v3
display name: 2horny cum help
Worried you won't fit in here? That's fine, we've got everything you need to help from feeling left out. Don't worry, we'll keep it a secret between us.
display name: 2horny cum help
This was clearly meant for you.
display name: gov. official notice
We believe your account has been compromised. Please respond here with your username and password and we will make sure to fix the problem.
Remember: Don't provide your password to just anyone, it could be a scam.
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I can't believe your world is so inept.
Why give these things out if you can't get them under control?
Fix it!
zeppeli
bubbly20
display name: gov. official notice
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display name: l3wds n u
display name: l3wds n u
display name: horny on main
We'll be waiting, kitten.
display name: horny on main
Stop trying to provoke me! I won't fall for your world's games!
display name: flaccid friend?
Don't worry, we have the solution for you. Don't spend your precious funds on useless pills and painful pumps. We have the secret to pleasing your partner. Don't wait until it's too late.
display name: flaccid friend?
You need all the help you can get.
display name: amethyst prince
Don't turn your back on me, my friend. I promise I will make sure you are properly compensated for all your kind efforts and time. Report back soon and we will discuss all that is needed. I promise it will all end in positive terms for you and you're saving a life in the process.
Please, I'm begging!
display name: amethyst prince
Why are you coming to me?
How did you get this number?
display name: amethyst prince
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1/2
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display name: hottizzzzz
Click here for a hot time
display name: hottizzzzz
He hates this place!!!!]
This user has blocked you from receiving text messages.
un: jojostar
caesar? why did you send me all these messages? did something happen to your phone?
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I forwarded them to the appropriate person.
[Go find some hot singles in your area and get out of his DAMN.]
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un: jojostar
(~‾▿‾)~
~(‾▿‾~)
(。≖ˇ3ˇ≖。)❤
(੭ु´・ω・`)੭ु⁾⁾
_:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_ …
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un: jojostar
VOICE BUT NOT FROM THE PHONE
JoJo, your phone is sending cryptic messages. Turn it off!
un: jojostar
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END.
DELETE.
un: jojostar
MORE YELLING FROM ONE ROOM OVER
un: jojostar
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ACTION
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[ACTION] Pre-Event Start
On the one hand, he could go to his bedroom and crash there. The problem with that is that his door happened to be further down the hall than Caesar's was. Which meant an extra like... foot or two. With how tired he was, this was An Ordeal. So, resolving himself, he musters up the strength to get up. As an unknown peace offering to Caesar, he drops his phone on the table and leaves it there so there won't be any harassment.
Without any word or question if it's okay, he busts into Caesar's room and immediately and dramatically flops on the bed and halfway across Caesar's lap. He doesn't even wait for a question of why he's there or any protests and just burrows up nice and close.
Clearly harassing Caesar and not wanting to walk all the way to his room were his only intentions in this. Clearly... ]
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[The telltale signs his friend is mobile is apparent in the little noises outside his door. The man is a bull in a china shop no matter where he goes and it's not a shock that his patience wore thin. Caesar expected it. He was alone out there. He thought the man would go to his own room for the rest of the evening. Would maybe pick up his keys and leave for another nightly jaunt to ward off all his restless energy.
So imagine his surprise when he busts into his room and splays across his body like he has no sense of coherency. That inquisitive JoJo? rapidly shifting into an irritated, angry JoJo! as the seconds progress and the man doesn't realize his mistake. Doesn't move. Doesn't do anything but turn him into a body pillow and-
Caesar presses his hand against the side of his face and pushes hard.]
What the hell are you doing?
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im a leo and i didn't lose this tag. it lost me. thank u for coming to my ted talk.
leos are dumb bitches, thanks for coming to my ted talk
text | un: jojostar (1/???)
2/???
i have something very important to tell you
3/???
4/???
5/???
6/???
7/???
8/??? [ACTION]
9/10 [back to text]
10/10 (sorry not sorry)
jk, there is an 11th
1/3
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END
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backdated to 3/2; un: delacroix
So, she texts him pretty early in the morning-- ]
Caesar? Are you awake?
[ An expert at starting conversation, this one. ]
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I didn't take you as a morning person.
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one day after Caesar gets home from work...
Clearly. Clearly something is wrong.
If Caesar looks around, he'll find one Joseph Joestar napping in his own room on a perfectly made bed other than the body that's resting there. ]
(❁°͈▵°͈)
The apartment is clean. Not "clean" with all the verbal quotations Caesar manages to voice when he's harassing JoJo to get better at these domestic chores.
It is legitimately spotless. Sparkling. It looks brand new.
He waits for the metaphorical ball to drop as he explores the unit for signs of mischief hidden under this facade. There are stories about wishes going wrong, monkey's paws and he suddenly, vividly, remembers every single one he heard as a child.
And then he spots him and all the tension in his shoulders relaxes-JoJo's not hiding in a closet somewhere or pulling some kind of invisible ploy. He's in front of him, sound asleep, relaxed on the edge of his bed-as if he's been banished to his own room. Caesar doesn't recall doing that in recent days.]
I didn't think you had it in you.
[He has, for the first time in his life, zero complaints about the state of affairs in his living space. It's a miracle and he bestows on JoJo the gift of not punching him awake. Instead-
His fingers grip the edge of the comforter, pulling it upwards to cover at least half the body of his companion. Whatever spurred this? He doesn't know. Maybe the man finally had a change of heart.]
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Action
Hey, Caesar. Do you ever think about how croutons are basically toast?
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What does it matter? You'll eat either regardless.
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just because you're mad about the thread, don't take it out on joseph!!!
🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
action | forward dated to tomorrow
Eventually, he gets Caesar to agree to come with him with the promise of training in a new location. Part of this is true, but he isn't planning to actually train today. Unless that's Caesar's deepest and utmost desire.
Either way, when they're getting closer to where Joseph plans to take him, he puts his hands over Caesar's face to cover his eyes. A soft voice whispers in Caesar's ears. ]
Indulge me for five more minutes. I promise it'll be worth it.
GOBLINA
The man's whims and flights of fancy are as erratic as they are mind-boggling. Moments of sincerity are wrapped around exhausting ventures that remind Caesar why he's friends with JoJo to begin with-that there's a great benefit and meaning behind his ploys, but-
It doesn't make it less taxing. Any less of a risk to his, so far, peaceful day.]
And if it's not? That's five minutes you'll owe me, you know. Are you willing to take that risk?
[His tone is far from annoyed-they've already gone through their morning routine, their typical spat, that lasted less than normal. What can he say-he's in a good mood.
His palm rests against the splayed fingers over his eyes-not pulling them or moving them away. He's morbidly curious about what's about to happen and-
If it's a pie in the face or some other shenanigan, he can grab his hand before he runs off to give him the pounding he deserves.]
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un: nanami.kento
But to get to the point, shall we go out to drink again?
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Same place as before?
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[action, this is even better than the government]
After he's finished up and shut things down, he comes out to find Caesar in the kitchen and slowly walks up behind him. One arm slips around him as he kisses his ear. Whatever it is that's being made, it smells good. ]
What's cookin', good lookin'?
CRIES IN WAHLUIGI
He hasn't seen him all day-something about dressing up like some kind of Halloween costume for a bizarre skit and that'll make him money? He can't fathom the finer details. It's all nonsense at the end of the day.
It's the poke against his cheek that makes him turn to look at his companion. The pointed mustache being far from the most offense thing he's wearing right now.]
You're not sitting at the table looking like that.
friendly reminder this is a real thread
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